Have you ever fallen prey to self-sabotaging thoughts like: “I’ve always wanted to move to Brasil, but I don’t speak Portuguese, it’s so far away.. what would my family think?” OR “You’re so lucky to be able to travel! Unfortunately I don’t have time – I’m so busy!” OR “I would love to try meditation or yoga, but I don’t know anything about them. Besides, I’m not flexible and I wouldn’t be any good.”
If somebody told me that my own complacency was the only thing stopping me from achieving my dreams, I would probably balk at the affrontation. I would instantly deny the presumptious and arrogant statement, being so offended that I wouldn’t pause to examine whether it could hold any truth for me.
Without realising the folly of this resistance (getting in my own way) I would continue in my mindset of “someday, but not today.” So, instead of scoffing, let’s delve deeper: where is our true blockage? What is stopping us from achieving our dreams? What precisely is the key to unlocking our ambitions, and have we been holding that key all along? And if so, why haven’t we been using it?
Humans are happy in the comfort zone. The more we dwell somewhere (a thought pattern, a geographical location, an unsatisfying relationship) the more familiar it becomes to us. We feel safe here. Energetically we begin to build up a resonance with the places we spend the most time. This is how we keep meeting the same stumbling blocks, having the same types of relationships, hanging around the same coffee shops.. even choosing the same seat on a bus! The comfort zone is soothingly familiar and makes us feel unthreatened and, well, comfortable!
It is quite rare to seek outside the comfort zone voluntarily, for example to look for new friends, have new experiences, learn new languages, take up new skills… However, the more often we do stray outside the comfort zone, the more resilient and strong we become in new situations. In fact, we begin to GROW our comfort zone. What does this have to do with our dreams?
Too often, we place our dreams safely outside our own comfort zone. This is a self-defence mechanism. We place a protective psychic layer around our dreams which makes them seem impossible to attain. We construct this psychic layer from:
- complacency, and
Harsh words, I know. Unravelling these two defences unlocks the chains we have carefully placed around our dreams to keep them safe. Starting to really face your dreams takes courage. And it all starts by taking baby steps outside of our comfort zone.
The more we push ourselves into new situations, or do things that frighten or intimidate us, or say “yes” to opportunities instead of inventing excuses, the more we grow our comfort zone. For example, I am extremely uncomfortable swimming in the ocean. Swimming, snorkelling, diving – all words that should spell FUN, but to me spell DANGER. It’s not even that I’m a weak swimmer! Something about that giant unknown underwater world terrifies me (hint: it’s unknown!). Slowly, slowly I have been venturing into the depths (literally) to try to unhook the seat of my fear, to get comfortable in this watery new environment. I’m not saying it’s easy, or that it progresses smoothly, but it definitely progresses.
You, like me, can learn that it’s not so scary. We can survive new situations, maybe even enjoy them! Most importantly, we gain confidence, and it shows. Suddenly new situations are not so daunting. So keep on saying “yes.” Keep on collecting those mini moments of victory until you can cash them all in for THE BIG ONE. You’ll wake up some day and your dreams seem so close that you could reach out and touch them… Never waste a perfect moment. Grab it with both hands!
Change your attitude from “I would love to, but…” to “Yes, I would love to!”
Allowing ourselves to say yes dramatically shifts the direction of our lives and can take us in unexpected and positive directions. Your dreams are achievable. Say “yes.” Dot it now. Do it often. Accept the full potential of the present moment and watch yourself achieve miracles.
Love and light,